Once upon a time air travel was glamorous and even now, at the front or top of the plane you have private cubicles resembling bijou studio flats in London. There you will be offered a wine list, linen napkins, flat screen TVs, a bar, perhaps a massage and maybe even a dry-cleaning service.
However, at the back of the plane, affectionately known as Cattle Class, travel becomes more and more like the game of sardines. You have the pleasure of being uncomfortably squished in a tin can for hours, with total strangers and all their bodily habits. You will have every opportunity to get acquainted with Knee Bashers, Chair Kickers, Arm rest Hogs and Aisle Loiterers.
I know that airlines are businesses and they need to manage costs, turn profits and part of that involves cramming as many of us into the smallest space possible, but have you seen the latest hideous new patent pending for a more intimate and space saving seating arrangement?
Just in case you can’t see it properly I’ve added my own version of this delightful proposal below using Lego Duplo people. Buzz Lightyear might look like he’s smiling on the outside. On the inside he’s crying because he’s lost his jet pack and instead of holding hands with cowgirl Jessie he’s stuck playing involuntary footsie with a stern policeman and a burly fireman.
If this seating plan were to go ahead, future economy travel would treat you (i.e. force you) to rub shoulders, shins and hey, why not even hold hands, with complete strangers. And just think, if you are one of the lucky rear facing passengers take off and landing will feel even more like a roller coaster. Pass the sick-bag.
An alternative ‘genius’ suggestion I came across while writing this little piece, involves adjustable seating. More leg room for taller passengers and less room for shorter ones. I can only imagine that when the passenger in front of the shorter passenger decides to recline their seat that the shorter passenger will end up with their nose pressed against their tv screen and their meal tucked under their chin.
Getting to the bathroom could be interesting with either of the above proposals.
I’m wondering how long it is until someone suggests standing room only as a serious option. That way, airlines could fit double the passengers in Economy and add en-suite showers for their premium customers.
I realise that cargo is more profitable and less demanding than live passenger cargo – “Could I get an extra pillow?” “My headset’s not working.” “I think my child is going to be sick.” I’m curious though, are there any human rights directives that apply to a minimal personal space quota on an airplane?
…and if there are, how minimal is that space?
I quite easily found information about transporting livestock (live cows, pig, chickens etc), and their welfare in transit, but couldn’t find any similar enlightenment regarding human airline passengers.
I’m sure there must be a rule or law somewhere, feel free to point me in the right direction.
I’m rewinding the clock today. Back in 2012 we took a trip to Cappadocia in central Turkey. It was a no-brainer trip while we were living there. Secret passages, hidden caves and vats of wine. There was a lot to like.
As promised in my last post, Heritage Day, here’s a little rundown of what you can expect on a visit to Lesedi Cultural Village. If you are visiting or living in Johannesburg or Pretoria, it’s certainly a great place to spend half a day and learn about some of South Africa’s peoples. It’s located in the Cradle of Humankind, to the North of Johannesburg and West of Pretoria. You will need your camera handy because there will be lots of great photo opportunities.
Disclaimer: The following post is tongue in cheek. I don’t have any prejudices against back-packers, it was rather a specific comment, by a specific person – known henceforth as Pinhead – at a specific time, that inspired this little piece.
Despite previous travel trials with the kids, I was almost looking forward to flying home this Christmas….almost. A night flight with two well-seasoned little travellers, an unlimited supply of movies, plenty of white noise and a nip of wine (for me) to assist with fragmented sleep. It should have been a piece of Christmas cake…
It’s always good manners to try to respect and – when possible – embrace any local traditions in your temporary home country. But what would YOU do if you were asked to join in the NokNok Celebration with Nzeddele tribe? Continue reading →