Charity Charity, Entrepreneurial Emma and Botox Betty – Expat Stereotypes you might want to Avoid

Avoid these expats
Meet Emma, Charity and Betty.  They look so harmless, don’t they?

Expat stereotypes.  We all know them.  We all love them.  We all love to hate them.  I previously wrote about three stereotypical expats who are unlikely to survive expat life.  And before you get all excited up on that high horse of yours, just take a little chill pill and know that this is entirely tongue in cheek.  After all, there is bound to be a little bit of the ‘doomed expat spouses‘, Hilda, Pauline and Nellie, in all of us. Equally, many of us have had our Charity, Emma and Betty moments.  We all need to take ourselves with a pinch of the proverbial.  So sprinkle that salt and read on about three expats you are almost certain to meet on a posting and might want to avoid.

Charity Charity

Charity by name, charitable by nature.  She is the well meaning expat who goes everywhere with a bleeding heart dripping from her sleeve.  Armed with her trusty book of raffle tickets, she goes into battle determined to save all the orphans, all the homeless and all the desperate and disadvantaged of the entire planet single handedly.

Charity means well, her bleeding heart is made of solid gold.  She works tirelessly for all the causes. Fatigue is something that she never experiences, but occasionally, just occasionally those around her do.  Sometimes, we run when we see her coming with her earnest eyes, dripping those trembling gold tears from that bleeding heart of hers.

We love and respect Charity, but sometimes we just want to have a margarita and dance like nobody’s watching without having to buy a raffle ticket first.

“Hi Charity, yes, I’ll take 25 tickets please, thank you very much.”  Cheers to Charity.

 

Continue reading

Discover Johannesburg’s Top Hikes

hedianga-2
Hedianga Hike 15km – “We love hiking with dogs.”                                                                                                                                 Photo Credit: Becci Monge

For a city as gritty as Johannesburg, you might be surprised to find out just how many fab hiking spots there are in and around it.  My friend, American expat Becci Monge has kindly written a guest post with her top local hiking picks.

Becci got hooked on hiking last year when she decided (and by the way successfully succeeded – enormous kudos to you Becci and the rest of the Jo’burg based She-Trek team) to summit Mount Kilimanjaro. In preparation for Kili, the She-Trekkers explored (and continue to explore) the best hiking spots on offer in our local area.

Over to Becci: Continue reading

Hair Raising and Hair Razing Experiences Abroad

img_2043
You know it’s a disaster when you’d rather wear a paper bag over your head.

Getting a hair cut should be a fairly simple procedure and yet I have found it to be one of the lesser known, but very real challenges of expat life.  Plenty of expat blogs cover all the obvious, big ticket hurdles to being a successful and happy expat: emotional resilliance, repatriation, culture shock, depression, leaving well etc.  But there are plenty of lesser known hurdles we face as we ricochet around the globe and getting a decent haircut is firmly on that list.

Whether I’ve asked  for ‘a trim’ or ‘the same but shorter’ or shown a picture from a magazine or a photograph of my own hair I seem to have had more than my fair share of awful expat haircuts than I care to mention.  Here are a few of my lowlights…. Continue reading

Ladies who Lunch

IMG_4081

It’s what you think we expats spouses do all the time, isn’t it?  Go out for lunch and have a jolly old time. Well, yes, sometimes we do.  Here is a group photo of our international ladies social club taking a morning walking tour, followed by – you guessed it – lunch.  It took place on a weekday when our children were at school, our husbands at work and in many cases a house helper was doing the cleaning or ironing in our homes.  I know what you’re thinking….

It’s an easy life.  Perhaps when these ladies get home they will find that the electricity has gone off, or the water….or both.  Perhaps they are in the throes of packing up to move with uncertainty and upheaval ahead.  Some of their husbands have left the country already and have started new jobs in new locations.  The wives will pack up and follow in the coming weeks.

They are lucky to be going for a jolly morning out, rather than working.  They are lucky not to HAVE to work, it doesn’t mean that they don’t want to work, it means that they are not allowed to work.  These ladies have degrees, professions and skills.  There is the qualified and experienced occupational therapist who is manically jumping through hoops trying to gain the South African equivalent qualifications, so that MAYBE she MIGHT be permitted to work for the few remaining months before she has to move again.

They’re all smiling and happy.  You can’t see this of course, but I know that they are smiling.  It was an enjoyable way to spend a morning. However, with every outing, there’s almost always a new lady.  She might be feeling really lonely, culture shocked and slightly terrified to be out in Johannesburg’s inner city for the first time.  From a distance she is part of the group.  Her hands are occupied with her camera prop and she paints on a smile and probably, by the end of lunch she will feel less lonely.   Continue reading

Lucky Stars

Yesterday was International Women’s Day.   You know what?  I nearly missed it.  My Mother-in-Law happened to mention it on Skype, which got me thinking over dinner.  Dinner, I might add, that Mr Incredible whipped up on the braai for us.  Mr Incredible who had just returned from a business trip 1000’s of miles away.  He had left me un-chaperoned in vast city full of vices for 10 days.  It’s easy to forget that our grandmothers did not have these freedoms and shocking to realise, particularly as an expat, that many of the women on our beautifully scrubbed doorsteps still don’t. Continue reading