Top 2020 Travel Destinations

Today is the eleventy-billionth Groundhog Day of 2020. Even though the year is not quite over, we already have clear winners when it comes to this year’s top travel destinations.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats. The weather at your destination is exactly the same as it is in your armchair. Conveniently, there is no need to set your watch, as your destination will be in the same time-zone. In the event of an emergency, such as the tv remote being out of reach, you slippers are located under your seat. So sit back and relax as we transport you to our top 2020 travel destinations…

The Kitchen

Who needs blue ribbon beaches, when you can attempt cordon bleu cookery? The Kitchen, also, more exotically known as La Cuisine, is a red hot destination this year. Nevertheless, it tends to polarize travelers, they either love or loathe it.

International cuisine, is available at all times of the day or night. Even the least competent visitor to The Kitchen can taste global delights, whether they be pizza, pot noodles or a microwave curry. Travelers with children tend to have lengthier stays in this destination, whether its to satisfy bottomless stomachs and hollow legs, or to enjoy a brief reprieve from the daily grind…. and wine.

The Bathroom

Take a refreshing restorative and contemplative dip in your own private bathtub. To fully enjoy the experience, we recommend lighting a scented candle, especially if there are any lingering odours from previous visitors. Bath toys are complementary for family staycations.

The Bedroom

The Bedroom is our top self-catering accommodation option. Depending on your fellow travelers, you could enjoy crisp sheets with hospital corners or a cascade of dirty clothes and artfully rumpled bed linen.

Regrettably, room service, housekeeping and laundry services are all suspended until further notice.

The Supermarket

This is the furthest flung and most exotic destination on our 2020 travel list. A surefire indication of this destinations’ popularity, is the length of the queue to reach it. People wait patiently, come rain or shine, with building anticipation for what lies within.

Upon arrival, travelers can discover essential items from across the globe. Unfortunately, we are unable to offer any priority booking, all essential items are secured on a first come, first served basis. All non-essential items, are unavailable, affording you a welcome break from modern capitalism and frivolous spending, until you return home and have the magic wallet-slimming option of internet shopping just a few clicks away.

Inside The Supermarket, Each traveler, will feeling like they’ve escaped the madding crowds, as everybody else will be at least 2 metres away. Be sure to slap on some suncream sanitizer and don’t forget to stay out of the sun immediate proximity of any human beings you don’t live with.

Dining Out

The Car

Should you be the owner of a automobile, you will be able to enjoy deluxe vehicular dining. This option includes reclining seats, climate control, your choice of music and if you’ve got a flash car, cup holders. If your food is too hot, you can simply wind down the window and pop it on the roof for a moment until reaches the required temperature.

The Picnic Rug

Should you not have a vehicle at your disposal, we can recommend an al fresco dining alternative, however, for those of you going into winter, we have renamed al fresco, al freezing-o. Yes indeed, you can unfurl your picnic blanket and enjoy your sad sandwich and a chilly drink in the great outdoors.

The Fine Print:

• We can assure you that you will be able to avoid the crowds at all destinations.
• Please note, that all destinations are subject to curfew restrictions without prior notice.
• Passports are not required for any of the above destinations. However, there may be body temperature checks at the border of The Supermarket. Should you qualify for key worker status, you will need to show identification for priority boarding.
• Please also be advised, that The Supermarket has a strict dress code requirement, a face covering must be worn at all times. However, a full hazmat suit is optional.
• Brochure pictures are for illustrative purposes only. At this time, it may not be possible to relax naked-faced in a trolley The Supermarket without offending other travelers or incurring a financial penalty.