I saw the Dragon. It didn’t breath fire, but it startled me.
Fat and serpentine, it was sunning itself on the path ahead. It was in fact the large monitor lizard that lives in our estate. Its distinctive blue and yellow markings were clearly visible in the sunshine.
Trying to restrain an over excited Cheese Thief with one hand and snap its picture with my useless phone camera with the other, I was left with an indistinguishable smudge that nobody was very interested in. Now I understand why all those Loch Ness and Big Foot sightings are so mysterious and in this day and age, the rule is, if you don’t have a picture to prove it, it didn’t happen.
Monitor lizards are carnivorous and have been known to eat small pets. They might bite you and share a multitude of bacteria when doing so (there’s that famous incident where Sharon Stone’s husband was bitten by a Komodo Dragon – a type of monitor lizard). However, there are no KNOWN cases of humans being killed by these creatures (phew). Although, some years ago, the unfortunate Ron Huff, who died (probably of natural causes), was found in his apartment. His pet monitor lizards were feasting upon his cadaver.
I had a second sighting of the dragon, at much closer range this time, with three other witnesses. Again, it was basking in the sun. Once it spotted us, we watched it waddle (but it waddled surprisingly fast) to the water, swim the opposite bank and then disappear into a hole. This time the camera was more cooperative. Et voila – confirmed sighting with photographic evidence.
Pickle, of course went to school the next day and adamantly persuaded his confused teachers that he had ‘found’ a real dinosaur and that mummy has a photograph of it.
3 thoughts on “Dragon Sighting”
I thought their bite was filled with bad bacteria which can make you real sick.
Thanks for your comment. Yes, I believe the bacteria is pretty nasty, I’m from the UK and we tend to go for understatement when expressing ourselves. For example if somebody asks me how life is going, I might say: “Thing’s aren’t too bad” which in British speak actually means that life is pretty flipping awesome. I wrote “They might bite you and share a multitude of bacteria when doing so.” Which means, if they bite you they WILL infect you with lots of bacteria. I know, it’s a confusing way of communicating. I’m sorry. The main point I was making is that a monitor lizard is unlikely to hunt you down and eat you alive. Hope that clarifies.
It does. I work for British people who run Legoland. There is a slight decree of difference when they say something. Of course as an American we tend to sarcastic.