I saw the Dragon. It didn’t breath fire, but it startled me.
Fat and serpentine, it was sunning itself on the path ahead. It was in fact the large monitor lizard that lives in our estate. Its distinctive blue and yellow markings were clearly visible in the sunshine.
Trying to restrain an over excited Cheese Thief with one hand and snap its picture with my useless phone camera with the other, I was left with an indistinguishable smudge that nobody was very interested in. Now I understand why all those Loch Ness and Big Foot sightings are so mysterious and in this day and age, the rule is, if you don’t have a picture to prove it, it didn’t happen.
Monitor lizards are carnivorous and have been known to eat small pets. They might bite you and share a multitude of bacteria when doing so (there’s that famous incident where Sharon Stone’s husband was bitten by a Komodo Dragon – a type of monitor lizard). However, there are no KNOWN cases of humans being killed by these creatures (phew). Although, some years ago, the unfortunate Ron Huff, who died (probably of natural causes), was found in his apartment. His pet monitor lizards were feasting upon his cadaver.
I had a second sighting of the dragon, at much closer range this time, with three other witnesses. Again, it was basking in the sun. Once it spotted us, we watched it waddle (but it waddled surprisingly fast) to the water, swim the opposite bank and then disappear into a hole. This time the camera was more cooperative. Et voila – confirmed sighting with photographic evidence.
Pickle, of course went to school the next day and adamantly persuaded his confused teachers that he had ‘found’ a real dinosaur and that mummy has a photograph of it.